CODE RED – Biscuit Alert

Biscuits don’t usually get much press here – that’s for the immortal www.nicecupofteaandasitdown.com – but this just has to be tackled. Butterscotch McVities Milk Chocolate Digestives. WHY WERE WE NOT INFORMED? This is basically a way of fitting more sugar into the biscuit area of the digestive, giving it an overly melodramatic mouthfeel, like a cross between Baileys, molasses and uranium-57.

A bridge too far – which is why they’re a limited edition – but one for the collectors to look out for.

This may have been out for years, by the way – the biscuits were crumbly and the pack was suspiciously scuffed. Perhaps they escaped from a top secret biscuit testing lab, somewhere in the middle of Dartmoor.

It’s no McVities Caramel Milk Chocolate Digestive, put it that way. Far from it.